Coming from an African country, Ghana, I couldn’t agree more. Growing up they caution us to speak calmly, hold our voices when adults are speaking. Every aspect of our lives growing up was about impressing others and presenting a perfect image.

But then we grow up, gain our independence and then we realize most of what they thought us, with chastisement foreboding us of the things to do and not do, doesn’t necessarily work like that in the real world.

Being calm, quiet, and extremely considerate creates the wrong impression of an indecisive and unassertive person.

Being too polite impacts our social image, and creates room for others to encroach on your boundaries. We struggle to insist on what we deserve and serve our wellbeing.

So much of what our African society teaches us turn out to be the opposite of what we truly need to excel in the real world.

This realization often comes later in life, and then we begin a journey of rewiring our brain, learning and unlearning what’s been inculcated in us which isn’t serving as well. The change doesn’t happen over night, it takes many years of self-awareness.

Sarah, thank you for sharing your experience. I can relate to this.